Pulling a Dix - Why Adrian Dix Lost The BC Election - Being a Pussy & Opposing Kidder Morgan

We have a new phrase in the BC political language,

"Pulling a Dix"

This describes the act of committing a dumb last minute fumble that in the end winds up destroying long carefully prepared plans that were certain except for "Pulling a Dix" to bring about victory.

"Pulling a Dix" is the opposite of "Pulling a Clark(e)" which is snatching victory from a near certain defeat.  This was done twice in BC, first by a Glenn and then yesterday by a Christy.

Kidder Morgan's pipeline has been bring prosperity to the people of BC since 1954.  They have shown themselves to be competent pipeline operators and Vancouver BC has shown us for almost 60 years that they know how to handle petroleum.

By opposing Kidder Morgan Adrian Dix did not win back any Green votes as they all assumed the election was in Adrian Dix's hands.  However by opposing Kidder Morgan he gave people a reason to go out and vote against him.

Sad to see that the NDP were hoping the got a Dick when they hired someone whose name sounds similar however in the end he showed himself to be a Pussy.

Pity

Happy Birthday Prime Minister Stephen Harper

Dear Mr. Prime Minister,

Wishing you a happy birthday.  My hope for you this year is that your reforming and liberalizing the system while trying to appeal to your conservative base yields you some dividends.

On a personal basis Mr. Prime Minister, I hope you finally gain the opportunity to have the people of this country cut you some slack.

Happy Birthday Stephen Harper ;)

Sincerely,

Shreddy

The Cutest Photo I Have Ever Seen - How Can One Not Feel Warm and Fuzzy

When something this cute exists.

Happy Birthday Adolph Hitler - I Wish You Were Turning in Your Grave However You Grow Stronger by the Year :(

Here it is April 20, 2013 and yet again I am writing about Adolph Hitler.

Did he die in a bunker in Berlin during May of 1945?  In a physical sense yes, in a spiritual sense he just took a brief sabbatical.

How is his spirit stronger today than a year ago?

1> The European Union passed his animal testing law.

2> More places than ever have gone cigarette smoke free.

3> Vegetarianism and the smug sense of moral superiority that non-religious vegetarians feel grows stronger.

4> The propaganda technique he mastered "The Big Lie" grows more and more effective as the global warming hysteria crowd are still getting money even though recent observations are contradicting their models.

5> There are more and more assholes out there like the Fair Trade movement who claim they know what is better for another person than what the other person knows is better for themselves.

Happy Birthday Adolph Hitler, your spirit lives on and how I wish it was not so.

It's Tax Time Again - Now If Her Majesty Could Chase Some Real Cheats Who Feel They Are Above The Law

Tis the season to give Ceaser what is due, fa la la la la la la la la.

Here it is April again and I am doing taxes.  I think of how our self-assessment system is supposed to work and I always think of what is the largest tax fraud perpetrated against the people of Canada?

Is it trades building the odd un-permitted reno and not reporting the income,,,,, I doubt it

Is it the waitress/waiter reporting $30 weekly in tips when they make much more,,,,,, I doubt it

Is it the person with a basement suite in their home who somehow justifies tax fraud every year when they submit their T1 on the basis that their suite is not permitted by the municipality. - Fuck Yeah

It is the senior citizen receiving supplements but somehow feeling entitled to commit supplement fraud by not declaring the monthly rental income they receive from the self-contained suite downstairs even though they reside in a half-million dollar plus home. - Fuck Yeah

I think of Victoria BC.

Say there are 25,000 secondary suites in the Greater Victoria area.

Average rental $10,000 per year. for a total of $250,000,000 in economic activity.

Assuming 50% unreported,,,,,,,,  a $125,000,000 million dollar per year Income tax fraud for Victoria BC alone.

Why not offer a tax-free reward of  $100 per tip reporting each basement suite?

The Adventures of the Bonobo Burners - Part B - Escaping Reality

(We start off where we had left of the last time at a public park in scenic Saanich BC, a bedroom suburb of Victoria BC, better known as Chicktoria.  Bogdan the Master of Disguise for the Pink Panthers the World's Foremost Gang of Jewell Thieves from the Serbian City of Nis and Shreddy had just rounded a corner dressed in their best Balkan Black when they came across a group of near geriatric Burners. Schedule 1 drug abusing free love party people whose lives revolve around getting annihilated at Burning Man. They were dress-rehearsing new gross acts of public indecency to up the bar for this years Burning Man festival where ego-centric drug addicts burn things for their own enjoyment but to the detriment of Mother Earth.  Bogdan and Shreddy had just witnessed a thin tall curly haired tired looking old party girl cover herself with olive oil, paint pigments and place two soda straws in her nose.  We saw another group of  old naked hippies cover the woman with a plastic sheet and erotic massage and digitally probe her.  Bogdan and Shreddy heard the tired old party girl scream in delight and Shreddy is trying to calm Bogdan down as the Bonobo Burners had offended Bogdan's sense of decency.  We see the tall thin man with horrible teeth in his mid 50s that appeared to be the leader of the group turn towards Bogdan and Shreddy and get ready to speak to them.)

THIN OLD DRUGGY WITH BAD TEETH - "Namaste - Welcome to our circle of love.  Would you care to join us.  Our friend in the centre could definately enjoy another four hands on her.?"

(underneath the plastic we notice that the tired looking old party girl had heard the words another four hands.  We hear a muffled sound coming from the woman sounding like she is singing in Harri Krishna chants in Hindi however with a uniquely Northern European accent.)

BOGDAN - "Why do you show your contempt for your families by behaving in this manner?  Are you aware that this is a public park?  What if some children walked by and saw what you were doing to this old hag?"

(When the tired looking old party girl hears herself described by Bogdan as a hag she takes the plastic sheet off her.  We see her turn towards Bogdan and Shreddy while the look of contempt crosses her face.)

TIRED LOOKING OLD PARTY GIRL - "If you two would open your minds and be more accepting of others maybe you would have more love and light in your life."

SHREDDY - "Maybe if you left being covered with cooking oil and being digitally penetrated by a group of  painted people for the privacy of your own home, I don't see how anyone could mind.  However this is a public park, in Saanich, where I reside and I do not approve of this"

THIN OLD DRUGGY WITH BAD TEETH - "Are you implying that somehow you are better than us?"

SHREDDY - "Not at all.  I am just saying this is a public place and these are activities better confined to your bedroom."

TIRED LOOKING OLD NAKED PARTY GIRL - "You should take your controlling attitude elsewhere."

BOGDAN - "You should cover that old sagging body up."

(We witness the tired looking naked old party girl see red, run up towards Bogdan and wind up her hand.  We also see Shreddy with his reflexes hastened by hanging out with his friend Bogdan reach for his smartphone and capture a video recording of the tired looking old party girl striking Bogdan in the face with her fist. As the tired looking old party girl is cranked on alcohol and party drugs that are similar to crack cocaine she has the strength of Mike Tyson.  We see Bogdan fall to the ground unconcious. Shreddy turns and screams.)

SHREDDY - "You violent out of control hippies, I am calling the police."

(We see the naked painted Bonobos freak out and start grabbing their belongings while Shreddy tends to his injured friend.  We see the Bonobo's start to run away and Shreddy makes a point of video capturing the naked geriatric hippies fleeing the scene hoping to capture an identifying feature other than cellulite and sagging.  He keeps the smartphone focused on the tired looking naked old party girl that hit Bogdan and Shreddy captures on video the identifying dimples on her buttocks.  After the Bonobos have fled the scene Shreddy further tends to his injurred friend while he waits for the Saanich Police to arrive.)

Six Months Cigarette Free - Thank you Chantix / Champix for Helping me Quit Smoking

Quit date August 22, 2012

I used Chantix + Zyban + the nicotine patch for the first 3 weeks

For the next 3 months and 1 week I used both Chantix & Zyban

For the last two months,,,,,,,, clean

My weight when I quit smoking  168 pounds

My weight this morning  165 pounds

Standard set of chin ups when I quit smoking 5

Standard sets of chin ups now 10

Standard sets of pull ups when I quit smoking 4

Standard sets of pull ups now 8

Thank you to my physicians and my friends because I never could have accomplished this without you.

Adventures of the Bonobo Burners - Part a - Stupid, Middle-Aged, Drugged Up Fools

(We start off in scenic Victoria BC also known as Chicktoria.  We are at a field in the municipality of Saanich and at the  scene of a gathering.  We see a woman in her early 50s covering her naked body with a mixture of olive oil and paint pigments.  She is about 5'8" grey, thin, hunched postured, curly haired with the look of a tired old party girl in her eyes.  She applies the body paint all over herself making sure her nostrils are clear while in the background a DJ is spinning electronic raver music records.  When she is finished applying the oil mixture, she places two wide soda straws in each of her nostrils.  Upon seeing that signal, a tall skinny curly grey haired man with horrible teeth and a booze belly in his late 50s raises his hand and a group of naked people with streaks of the same paint mixture on their skin surround the woman and cover her with a black plastic sheet.  There are two holes in the sheet for the nasal straws to fit through so that the woman can breathe.  The skinny man with the bad teeth gives another signal and the music changes.  We see all the participants put their hands on the plastic that is covering the middle aged paint covered woman and they start caressing her body in an erotic manner. She quivers under the plastic sheet feeling the erotic touch and starts to scream in delight.  This is all happening within a public park and we see in the distance two extremely fit looking men wearing Balkan Black round the corner.  They both see what is going on in the park and they stop and turn towards each other with the look of disgust on their faces.  At this moment we notice that the two men are Bogdan, the Master of Disguise for the Pink Panthers the World's Foremost Gang of Jewel Thieves from the Serbian City of Nis and his friend Shreddy).

SHREDDY - "Good god what the hell is that going on in the middle of a public park.  It looks like a gang of ugly geriatric naked people with paint all over their bodies."

BOGDAN - "Just another Burner bash.  The people have to practice new acts of gross indecency to up the bar for this years Burning Man,"

SHREDDY - "Why don't these people grab a life?"

BOGDAN - "They do have a life,,,, Burning Man.  Do you remember last year when we were walking your dog on the beach in Saanich and we came upon that group of people naked, intoxicated  and  piled up up in a glob of moving flesh.

SHREDDY - "Those fools who were kissing each others naked asses, then they took control of automobiles in their drunken/drugged up state and took their orgy onto a Provincial Highway.  I have never seen a worse case of criminal negligence or stupidity in my life."

BOGDAN - "That was called a Love Puddle, since they said "Shanti Shanti" before they got in the cars they felt everything was OK.  Personally I wish Arkan could have taken care of that group with a piano string for the good of the human race."

SHREDDY - "I would think a mental hospital would be more appropriate for anybody in their 50s who still consumes those drugs."

(The Adventures of the Bonobo Burners will be based on composite characters of real people who reside in Victoria BC and my observations of the silly things that they do. Keep coming back as three years ago I never could have imagined that out of control near geriatrics like the Bonobo Burners existed.)