Mister Squishy - Today we will be talking about the anti-smoking movement. We figured no better way than to start with the Father of the movement Adolph Hitler, the first man in history to say "I MIND IF YOU SMOKE"
Hitler - Thank you Mr. Squishy for giving me credit where credit is due. I had thought initially that Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer would have gained me immortality, but "I MIND IF YOU SMOKE" was brilliant. Everyone knows it just like the opening bars to Beethoven's 5th Symphony.
Mister Squishy - I spent this summer in West Hercegovina, it seems that if you said "I MIND IF YOU SMOKE" over there, you would probably get your head pounded in... By a Hercegovinian woman.......
Hitler - Those $%king West Hercegovinians..... Himmler identifies them as Proto-Aryans, and this is how they reward me... Did you know that the puppet leader I installed in 1941, Ante Pavelic, a Western Hercegovinian was married to a JEW..... His children were JEWS.... and that that #$%&^$ Pavelic hid his treasure trove of JEWISH physicians in the woods of Bosnia away from my Shtutzstaffel. To show his treachery, those Jews he hid were still $%king breathing.....
Mister Squishy - Haven't you ever considered that Pavelic had a reason for hiding some Jews from you that weren't his in laws????
Hitler - Of course he had a reason. Those West Hercegovinians smoke tobacco. Makes them do stupid things like hide Jews from my Einzgruppen.
Mister Squishy - Have you ever heard of the Nobel Prize? It seems that Jews win the prize in far greater numbers that their proportions of the population would indicate. Maybe Pavelic thought protecting the Jews to the best of his abilities given the difficult circumstances was ensuring a brighter future for all of humanity???
Hitler - The JEW is dangerous. They think. The Orthodox ones are way too smart to fall for the "Big Lie"..... The Reform ones are a different matter. Deep down they are as dumb as a gentile...
Mister Squishy - I tire of your anti-Jew tirades. Lets talk about the concept of the "Big Lie", and how it works.
Hitler - It is very simple.... Tell a big ridiculous lie often enough, and people are stupid enough to believe it.... Here is my dousy, "SMOKING CAUSES A HEALTH CARE DRAIN AND A NET COST ON SOCIETY", have you ever imagined anything so silly????
Mister Squishy - What is so silly about "SMOKING CAUSES A HEALTH CARE DRAIN AND A NET COST ON SOCIETY", it sort of makes sense....
Hitler - Well its the furthest thing from the truth, yet it sounds sensible. Damn I am smart..... Anyhow here is how it works,
1> Pick a group in society or in the world that everyone should like.... In my case I felt protecting children was important.. My friend Al Gore chose baby polar bears... But it could even be puppies.... Everyone likes children, baby polar bears and puppies....
2> Pick a group for a scapegoat. Jews, smokers, human beings, hell it can even be Republicans...
3> Develop a mantra affirming your support for one of the groups identified in the first step. Mine was "Our Children are Our Future", and "It is our duty to protect our children from harm".. This step is very important because this allows you to monopolize a very strong powerful positive emotion that 99% of people feel. In the case of today's followers, they are using the protection of children to further the Anti-Smoker agenda. Al Gore has the baby polar bears to promote his genocide of humanity agenda.
4> Attack your dissenters. I used "I am protecting Germany's Children from harms way", and "Why do you hate Germany's children" to silence anybody who might question me since I monopolized on the positive hot button....
5> Start the propaganda machine rolling against your scapegoat. Blame them for everything that goes wrong, and keep repeating your positive mantra " is our duty to protect our children from harm". I used simple drawings of JEWS giving children candy.... I still roll over laughing every time I think of this one. Jews are as a general rule the kindest most civic minded charitable people in any society. Hell they view their self worth on how much they can improve the lives of the people around them.... They remember what it was like to be yearning for something and doing without as a child, and out of the generosity of their hearts they give candies to all children.. But my propaganda machine accuses them of enticing children towards them to spread dangerous ideas, like thinking for themselves and questioning authority. With my followers today, they attack the smokers saying their smoking harms children.....
6> Once you have the bulk of society comfortable in attacking one vulnerable group, you have them on the slippery slope where you can make them believe anything, and attack the next "vulnerable group" that you see fit.
Mister Squishy - But smoking does harm children...
Hitler - See I Gotcha, if children smoke, smoking is bad for them. But if children don't get any exercise, its even worse for them....
Mister Squishy - I fondly remember my childhood. Almost all the adults smoked, around children, it stank to high heaven. We never wanted to be indoors around them. Whenever the grown-ups ran out of cigarettes, we would be tasked with running to the corner store for them to fill out their tobacco order. Then we were allowed to keep the change and buy sugary soda, and we would spend the entire day hyper playing road hockey to run all of the adrenaline off.....
Hitler - Now, the anti smoking movement is protecting children. They create smoke free indoor environments that children don't want to leave..... Since the sale of tobacco has been outlawed to children, they no longer get the exercise that they used to get running to the corner store, so they get obese. Since they don't breathe in outside air, they develop asthma.... In addition they become so sensitive to everything that they grow up "Politically Correct"
Mister Squishy - I would rather see a child grow up healthy, open minded and athletic....
Hitler - By creating a massive class of chronically ill, overly sensitive asthmatics, we weaken western society.. Thereby making the West too weak to protect Israel... Then the worlds Arabs can eventually implement my final solution while America is to fat and sick to get out of their lazy boy chairs....
Mister Squishy - So was it your whole plan to use the anti-smoking movement to develop rot within Western Society?
Hitler - Of course it was.... Any pinnacle empire always gets destroyed by rot from within. We get the Western World too busy dealing with their own obesity epidemic to worry about their duty to protect the Jews. Then the Arabs take out Israel.....
Mister Squishy - You are a sick twisted evil man.....
Hitler - Thank you for the compliments, especially since it's not even my birthday yet.
0 comments:
Post a Comment