Hitler, his spirit is alive and well and living in So Cal

Here I am on day 52 without a cigarette. Do I miss them? Yes, in a perverse way they comforted me. Do I think about them? Yes, they were a friend that was always there for me and never let me down. Do I feel any goodwill towards the anti-smoking movement? Absolutely none. The anti-smoking movement are Hitler's disciples. I like puppies. I like flowers. I like butterflies. I HATE HITLER.....

Today we bring back Hitler, and discuss his greatest triumph, the anti-smoking movement.

Hitler - Good morning, it is a wonderful day today. I hope everybody enjoyed their vegetarian breakfast, and showed some affection towards their pet prior to sitting at the computer. I hear that you have given up that filthy smoking habit, congratulations Shreddy.

Shreddy - Thank you Hitler. It has been very hard, and at times i thought I was loosing my mind, but it seems to be that my Nicotine Mistress has loosened her grip on me.....

Hitler - I have to keep reminding people that it was my phrase "I MIND IF YOU SMOKE" that started the anti-smoking movement.....

Shreddy - That you did my Fuhrer. It was ingenious how you staged your fake suicide with Eva & escaped.

Hitler - My idea was brilliant. We staged a fake suicide. Eva became a Drag King. I became a Drag Queen. We moved to California, and got active in a Reform Judaism Synagogue. Who would have ever thought that we could hang out in California and hide in plain view.....

Shreddy - You diabolical bastard.... Hiding in California all this time.....

Hitler - Can you think of a better place to hide out? Lots of vegetarian restaurants open late. Venice Beach if we ever want to dress wildly and go out flaming. But best of all, I have Hollywood's ear.....

Shreddy - So I am starting to think that joining the Synagogue has nothing to do with you becoming in touch with your patriarchal bloodline, when faced with old age and impending mortality..


Hitler - You get a gold star for guessing correctly. Do not forget that I am only 120 years old. Thanks to a healthy smoke free Vegetarian lifestyle I have probably got a good 40 years left. With that much time, there is no better place for me to hide openly than in the midst of a band of opinionated loud mouths who think they are Jewish....

Shreddy - You have a point. A Father who is a Hollywood Mogul born under the Covenant of Abraham plus a gentile mother who was a former show girl that did not go through a proper conversion prior to the birth of the child equals a baby gentile even after the Bris.

Hitler - See, I don't have to smell chicken fat in peoples breath.... Instead I smell fermenting legumes. As you well know, chicken fat has the same effect on me as kryptonite on Superman.

Shreddy - So how have you been faring these last 64 years?

Hitler - Better than ever..... By being in the center of things, I am able to influence far more people than I ever could at a Nuremberg rally.... I am involved in the; "100 Mile Diet - Local Food Movement"; the Anti-Smoking movement; People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals; The Anti Global Warming Movement; The Abortion Rights Movement; & the Gay Rights Movement..... I have been keeping very busy.....

Shreddy - So how do you feel that the success of the anti smoking movement is a triumph?

Hitler - It's a triumph because I have proven again that if you tell a big lie with enough conviction often enough, the masses will come to believe it. If the masses can come to believe a big lie, then you create conditions where it is still possible to use the levers of Democracy to seize absolute power........

Shreddy - So what is the big lie?

Hitler - That "Smoking places a burden on society".

Shreddy - In absolute terms, you are correct......

Hitler - But if we look at how a modern social democratic society is set up, smoking benefits it by killing people before they reach pension age. If people don't smoke, people live longer. We can't continue to give pensions to people in their 60s, it's unsustainable. Eventually a tipping point of too many people on the dole is reached and the system collapses on itself like the Western Roman Empire. Then from the rubble will rise a Phoenix that will promise the World.....

Shreddy - So it is you who behind all the political correctness....