Organic Processed Food

I have Vancouver Island's largest health food store in the same complex that my office is in. As the gamma ray would travel the distance from my feet to the ceiling of the health food store is less than five meters (sixteen feet). I have a unique vantage point to play Jane Goodall. I entertain myself by watching people entering or leaving the store, or when on occasion I need to buy anything I perform quick associative analysis on what people are buying and I make quick mental judgments based on their appearances....

This has led me to a conclusion about the "Health Food" industry. They cater to people who have too much time on their hands, and needlessly waste money on nonsensical wants that they have deluded themselves into believing are needs.

I have adopted a simple rule with my grocery shopping. I stick to the perimeter of the supermarket where the fresh foods are and I avoid to the extent that its practical the isles where the processed foods are.

When I look at the "Health Food" supermarket, I make a startling observation. The amount of floor and shelf space devoted to "Fresh Food" is minimal. The amount of shelf space devoted to processed organic "Health Food" is massive. If you like eating meats and vegetables, shopping at the "Health Food" supermarket is almost impossible. If you like eating highly processed grains and legumes, with packing that implies rain-forests, pandas or benign lesbian names the "Health Food" store is the place to shop.

I have a heretical belief...., YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT..... My observations of the people coming out of the "Health Food" store is that many of these people are not well and in many cases it is the "Health Food" that is making them that way.

I have noticed that many of the customers that shop at the "Health Food" store can be placed into distinct classifcations based upon their socio-economic position. I will examine the main groups that I have identified, and present my view on how the "Health Food" store is harming these customers....

A> Highly educated professional women whose biological clock is in overdrive and they are seeking a mate. Risk, they might meet Mr. Right who just happens to be vegan, lactose intolerant, celiac or some other form of twit. Ten years later they realize that they have found a useless parasite, and when they try to divorce the freeloader, they discover that divorce law favours the parasite over the productive person.

B> Women obsessed with nutrition. Risk for them is that they get so much nutrition into their bodies that they become massively obese..... Any processed organic item named after a benign lesbian is energy dense and highly caloric. They die young from heart disease.

C> Food intolerance fashionistas. Risk for them is that they go into debt, and wind up destitute. Last year they were "Lactose Intolerant", this year they are "Celiacs", next year provided that a credit card issuer will keep extending them credit, they will become "Acai Dependent" or some other form of silliness.

My advice to people.. Eat fresh food, avoid processed food, and don't fall for benign lesbians, pandas or rain-forests. Also save your money, and shop at a "Straight" supermarket.