Anatomy of my Midlife Crisis..

I am in the midst of my midlife crisis.

In my case a confluence of factors served as triggers:

1> Aging and the changes my body has went through. I spent a very signifcant portion of my adulthood as 250+ pounds of hostess on hoofs. On a chemical basis I was 40% bodyfat at age 39, by age 44 I am somewhere by my best estimate between 11% to 14% bodyfat . Such a fundamental shift in body composition which occurred on an almost linear basis over the span of five years changes an indivduals personality, perception and outlook on a deep hard wired basis. It wasn't supposed to happen this way, but somehow my body aged by getting younger.

2> My child reaching adulthood and leaving the home. Something about my little bird growing her own set of wings, learning to fly, and leaving the nest makes me wonder why on earth am I remaining in the nest. I certainly hope not just to await lifes final certainty.

3> The failure of my marriage. Need someone say more, a child leaving home and the marriage subsequently failing leaves an empty void in ones life. You can choose to either let the void eat away at you, or you can get proactive and try to fill it.

4> I accomplished all of my primary goals in life, and lived through accomplishing them.

This leaves me at a stage in my life where I am now in search of some yet undefined dream or goal. Luckily for me, I don't find myself desiring a feeling of youthfulness. Instead I feel truly youthful. What I trully want to find out is what is the meaning of my life.

Many men when going through a midlife crisis start to behave in a ridiculous manner in the pursuit of lost youth. They find themselves buying expensive cars, clothes, joining a gym and chasing younger women. In my case almost the opposite occurred, I started wearing white cotton undershirts as high fashion, I have not set foot in a gym, I still drive my cute little smartcar, and in during this whole crisis I have only propositioned one woman, and she was older than my soon to be ex-wife. Might just be that I have truly found youth......

But I have acquired an obsession. To beat this standard of fitness that Her Majesty requires of a man half my age. From the Government of Canada website:

Support Personnel (SP) and Specialists (Spec)

Specialists

• 1.5 mile run - 11 min or less
• Push ups (no rest stops) - min 40
• Sit-ups (1 minute) - min 40
• Over hand, straight arm pull-ups - min 5
• Bench press from chest to full arm extension - 1 press min 65 KG

Achieving this standard is sufficient if one is a woman, a person of colour, an aboriginal Canadian, an open homosexual or someone whom Her Majesty at her discretion has skills of such importance that this is the minimum threshold bar.

However, if one is a heterosexual white male who doesn't speak Pashtun, meeting this standard will only give you 55 points and you need 75 points to pass.

Thank God my obsession is with a set of numbers rather than young women. Obsessing over numbers can be far less detrimental to ones health.