Thursday, February 18, 2010

Battle of the Bulge

Beer belly, love handles, spare tire these are all affectionate names that men give to their testement to attempting to defy the law of thermodynamics. In the past a man would start to grow a belly around age 25 and it would slowly blossom into something that could cast its own shadow by the time a man turned 40. These days thanks to whole grains and Nutritionists, boys start growing these as soon as they could raise their glass to the table for more juice and the average North American man has a shadow caster by age 25.

Why do men grow bellies? Because mother nature provided an advantage to humans that could store surplus food in their bodies. During periods of scarce food the men and women that did not store surplus food starved to death. When there was plenty of food again, the men and women that could store food bred with the survivors and the belly and pear genes got passed to the next generation.

If you are the average 40 year old North American you are suffering from abdominal obesity. If you are fortunate, you might live as long as your parents. How you will live will be another issue. Chances are that you could develop thanks to your belly; cancer, heart disease, hip problems, knee problems, sleep apnea, dementia or a host of other fatal or chronic conditions.

I was well on the way to a typical fate. At age 39 I had a waist circumference of 43 inches (109 centimeters). I am turning 45 soon and my waist circumference is below 32 inches (81 centimeters). How did I do it?

1> I did not join a gym
2> I did not buy any gimmicky devices on TV
3> I did not get Lap Banding, Gastric Bypass or Liposuction
4> No speed, cocaine, tape worm eggs or whole grains

I did it with very subtle dietary changes and compound body resistance exercises. These are my golden rules to achieving a flat belly with pectoral muscles that overhang.

1> Within one hour of the big meal of the day, do a set of push ups followed by a set of sit ups. Do this six times a week. The timing is crucial. Doing your set of push ups and sit ups within 60 minutes of finishing your big meal does three things. First you strengthen your core body muscles. Second because you are working against your own body weight your reptilian brain starts sending signals to your body that it is too heavy and that it should lighten. Finally if you do your exercises withing 60 minutes of your big meal you will quickly find out if you should be reducing the size of your big meal.

2> Take CLA as a dietary supplement. I take 4,500 milligrams a day divided into three doses taken with meals. CLA is controversial. Many scientists claim it is ineffective, but what is the source of their authority to make that claim if their belly casts a shadow? I used to have a shadow casting belly, I started taking CLA and now my belly can't cast a shadow as the pectorals create an overhanging ledge. Here is a link to Wikipedia on CLA.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conjugated_linoleic_acid

3> Fruit juice is NOT A THIRST QUENCHER. If you must indulge in fruit juice water it down to one part fruit juice and three parts water. Forty years ago people drank hardly any fruit juice and very few people were obese. There is a direct correlation with waist lines and fruit juice consumption. Also fruit juice is acidic and it destroys your teeth worse than chocolate bars.

Follow my three golden rules and your belly will stop casting a shadow as it will be obscured by the shadow cast by the pectoral overhang ledge.

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