What Age is Appropriate?

Having started socializing and freely mixing with members of the opposite sex for the first time in many years, I have to deal with the issue of what age of woman is appropriate to date? The Chinese have a rule for marriage, take the age of the man divide by two and then add seven with the resultant age being the floor age. In my own case I am turning 45 this year so:

45 divided by 2 = 22 1/2 + 7 years = 29 1/2 years old.

But what immediately jumps is this formula is purely based upon chronology. There one would find it's inherent flaw in the fact that we don't all age the same and we don't have the same lifespans. Three of my four grandparents hit their 90s. In the case of my Maternal Grandfather, his three siblings are alive, well and still working in the fields in Herzegovina.

Lets look at what a typical 45 year old North American male would be like and a typical 30 year old North American female..

The 45 Year Old North American Male:

1> Is abdominally obese. Greater than 50% of North American men have waistlines greater than 35 inches which is indicative of the initial formation of visceral fat.

2> Is overweight body fat greater than 25%

3> Is developing the first signs of chronic conditions that are brought about by the result of poor lifestyle choices. This could be high cholesterol from too much pub food, liver problems from too much rich food or alcohol, mobility problems due to massive girth, breathing problems due to smoking, or a whole slew of other things.

The 30 Year Old North American Female:

1> Is overweight and well on her way to abdominal obesity by age 37. At age 40 greater than 60% of North American women are abdominally obese.

2> If she hasn't had a child yet has had her fertility start to decline. This starts at age 27 slowly and it keeps accelerating that fertility treatments become a very real possibility in the 31 to 34 range. I know this firsthand from preparing tax returns for couples who have worked hard to create the perfect world to bring a child into, but mother nature won't cooperate.

3> Is starting to show the first signs of developing chronic conditions. For years Physicians didn't look for the warning signs of chronic conditions in women, and almost by surprise the heart disease rate for women is converging upon that of me.

I am not the typical 45 year old North American man, and I would not want the typical 30 year old North American woman. I am a 45 year old North American man that is inhabiting a body that is substantially younger than 45.

To find out your bodies true age, go to www.realage.com the site run By Dr. Roizon. You are prompted to go through a lifestyle questionnaire that takes your condition and how you live and adjusts your age to a "Real Age" which is based on working backwards using actuarial models of predictive death. When I take the realage quiz I come up with being 34 years old.

If we use the ancient Chinese formula:

34 years divided by 2 = 17 + 7 years equals = 24 years

At this age, a woman is too young too settle down with someone 45. A man who is 45 like myself would want children right away. A woman who is 24 would probably;y want children right away. The model in these cases becomes one of the man being the breadwinner/provider with the woman becoming the homemaker. In the absolute worst case scenario the woman has only one child and uses that child as an excuse to drop out of the labour force completely. The danger is that if the woman has not experienced enough of life, education or career progress, the stage is set for a disaster in ten years. The marriage fails, there is a small child, the man is in his mid 50s and the woman has limited career prospects. A horrible life is to be had by all.

So far since my marriage has failed I have dated women in their 20s and women in their 40s. With the women in their 20s, I have found them to be fun. They are enjoying life and nothing is too serious. If they are very athletic, they are even more fun. What I find lacking is the wisdom. They can have an intellect that compares to mine but they just don't have the firsthand life experience that can only be gained through living. They are generally tolerant of high maintenance men, and they think its cool that I paint my toes. Unless I met one that could articulate the abstract of our combination of genes, I just don't see myself settling down with someone who is in their 20s. The fear of the scenario I described above predominates my mind. It is also frightening that this age group appears to find me most attractive.

With women in their 40s, I enjoy their companionship. They have acquired wisdom through life experience. Their intellects have refined, They have achieved some significant successes in their careers. However they cannot give me a biological child.

What am I to do? If I go for a woman in her 40s, I have only my 20 year old daughter and give up hopes of a biological child. If I got serious with a woman in her 20s, I have the chance of biological children and an excellent chance of a future parasite ex-wife where I am stuck living in a bachelor apartment so I can afford alimony and child support payments.

Which finally leaves women in their 30s. If I am lucky and find a truly exceptional woman in her early 30s I can possibly have biological children. However it seems that that is the age group that finds me least attractive. If I find a woman in her late 30s, I would be very lucky to have a biological child. However this is the age group that I am least attracted to.

Realistically the age group that makes the most sense for me, early 30s happen to be the age group in North America that find me less attractive than women in their 20s, late 30s or 40s.

My mother tells me go to Serbia, find a newly qualified Physician, marry her and bring her to Canada. My Serbian friends tell me go to Niš in Southern Serbia, hang out there during my slow seasons and find a newly qualified Physician who can make Banitsa (the Serbian equivalent to Bosnian Pita) and bring her back to Canada. Logic tells me go to Serbia, find a newly qualified Physician, bring her back to Canada. I would not have to worry about a spouse who was a parasite, and even if she left me at least I would know that I had done my patriotic duty and helped alleviate the Canadian shortage of Physicians. The most sensible choice is readily there, yet I still can't stop thinking about what would be required to traverse 6 meters along only a one centimeter rain-screen edge of a high-rise building in BC.

In four more days I will be in Belgrade eating Banitsa. Hopefully the Serbian women will be able to take my mind off of traversing rain-screens. Maybe while traversing the Kalemegdan, I might be lucky enough to meet a fellow climber whose sister might just happen to be a newly qualified Serbian Physician. Keeping my fingers crossed.